A few weeks ago, I sat on the small black sofa at the reception of the high school, waiting with Theo for his wonderful Family Support Worker to take him to Maths. As we sat, I noticed the strongest oniony smell coming from somewhere. It being a high school and all, I assumed it emanated from the teenagers around us or someone’s lunch.
“Do you smell that?” I asked Theo.
He looked me straight in the eyes and said “Mom. Its you.”
One of our bestselling products at Goat Rodeo Goods is our Salty B*tch Kimchi Salt. We ferment huge batches of kimchi for 4-5 weeks and then dehydrate them down in the commercial kitchen to create the powdered kimchi that gets blended with salt for the final product.
It takes about a week and 3-4 loads in the dehydrator to get through a usual 300kg batch of kimchi. By nature of living on site, much of the swap over of the batches falls to me as timings vary and it needs to be transferred to sealed containers as soon as it is dry. Plus, due to the pungent nature, we plan the batches so no one has to work too long in the kitchen with it is dehydrating, which leaves the bulk of it to me on the weekends.
During this week of the process, the smell across the farm is…pungent. The extractor system runs around the clock, pulling the moisture out of the kitchen and out into the courtyard. A kimchi-cloud hovers in the space between the kitchen and the front door of my house.
But even with the extractor’s help, one step into the commercial kitchen building and you are hit with a wall of fermented garlic, ginger, cabbage, onion and carrot. The smell clings to everything. It soaks into your hair, your clothes, your bra. I couldn’t figure out why my boots smelled the other day until I realised.
Even just running into the kitchen to grab something will mean your whole outfit will need a change and your hair a wash at the end of the day. I accidentally left my favourite fleece in there for two days and I had to boil wash it and leave it on the line overnight to get the smell out. We have separate kimchi clothes for kimchi week, trying not to cycle through too many outfits so we have something that isn’t bathed in eau de kimchi to wear out.

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I hasten to add that the smell isn’t bad. In fact, it is the opposite. I find myself craving kimchi fritters, kimchi eggs or kimchi toasties near constantly. I squirrel the last bits of kimchi that won’t fit into the dehydrator into the house and we eat it with every meal. We poach chicken in the drained juice and make endless pot-noodles with kimchi for lunch.
The issue comes when I go to leave the bubble of the farm. There are times we are running around too fast or running too late for a change into non-kimchi clothing or have time for a hair wash. The other night I forgot to change my shirt when we went to the neighbouring village’s musical performance and spent the evening dodging hugs from my neighbours in case they don’t like kimchi.
And so let this newsletter act as a warning…if I have run into you in public and not hugged you when normally I would pull you in close? It was the kimchi. If I insist on meeting you outside? The kimchi. That smell you mentioned? The kimchi.
Or me. It’s probably me.
I have put our kimchi recipe on the website. Our kimchi recipe is based on the exact same one I’ve been using and teaching for years, but have never really published anywhere.