Taking the Long Way Round

How It Started

Twenty two years ago last night I was sitting in an Italian restaurant in Putney, London with Kevin’s family and my mom eating Banoffee Pie. Kevin and I had gotten married earlier in the day at the Merton or Mordon or Maldon registry office. I wore black and stepped into a rubbish bin on accident on my way down the aisle and instead of the beautiful Ella Fitzgerald song I had selected to meet Kevin at the alter the registrar she played “Strange Fruit”.

It wasn’t a fairy tale. I hadn’t really wanted to get married— it was never anything I imagined for myself and would’ve happily lived my life without checking that particular life-goal off any todo list. But international relationships and immigration offices don’t really care about the wishes of any individuals and marriage was on the cards for us whether I wanted it or not.

To this day, I maintain that it is really mostly luck that sees us still together. We met as teenagers, and the 17 year olds we were are very different people than the 45 year olds we are. We have lived many many lives in that time - as city folk who spent their days in cafes and evenings at gigs; as town folk with a basset hound and a house, the corner of which the local drug dealer used to meet his clients; as village folk who had babies in quick succession in a tiny miner’s cottage with long commutes and neighbours who were like family. Now we are Gartur people - our lives so intertwined with this place, sometimes I don’t know where we stop and Gartur begins.

The fact that we still like each other feels more like a fluke than anything within our control. There are no Buzzfeed “10 Secrets for a Happier Marriage” or Cosmo “Five Ways to Keep Your Relationship Fresh” shortcuts here, just a couple of folk whose lives still ramble along mostly happily beside one another.

This weekend, we were away in Mull with the kids. On the first morning, Kevin and I went for a walk to the sea from the holiday cottage. The evening before, during an event, we’d lost Kevin’s beloved goat to some sort of poisoning. Kevin had stayed with the guests while the vet and I did what we could to save her.

As we walked back from the sea, Kevin said, “You knew I couldn’t be with her. You knew I would be a mess and you just did it.” Its true, we had flown into action without speaking to one another - we didn’t need to. He would be better with the guests, chatting and socialising, while I am the better one in a crisis.

The conversation moved on to how different our lives had looked 22 years ago than they do now - how those young people stumbling down the aisle couldn’t have predicted what lay in front of them - quite literally with 4 children waiting back at the holiday cottage to go out for lunch.

How its Going

Its not the life those twenty-somethings would’ve chosen, I don’t think. I think they saw themselves as something else - more exciting, more adventurous, definitely with more £ in their bank accounts, but thank goodness for it. It is (mostly) better than any click bait article could suggest - harder, longer (not in the way a Cosmo way ;) ) and more work than those kids stumbling down the aisle could’ve ever guessed.

And I would 100% do it all over again.

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Next week Fodder + Farm turns five months old and what a five months it has been! From sell out pizza nights, buzzing long table feasts, art exhibitions, open days and more, we have had to pinch ourselves that our first season has gone so well. We have been blown away not only by how many folk have been through the (new) doors, but also how many of you have come back time and again! 

There is no way really to recap our first few months, mostly because it feels like a blur. Reflection on how things have gone and what we can do better next year will have to wait until January as we are still full steam ahead with Winter events.

On the 25th of November, we have our Festive Market from 10am - 6pm in the event barn. We will be joined by some of our favourite makers as we fill the barn with Christmas fun (and food). We will also be launching the Fodder + Farm Larder where you will be able to shop our range of preserves, pickles, dry goods and more.

The event is free, but it helps us if you can book parking (1 ticket = 1 car)

After we pack up the Christmas market, it will be full steam ahead on prep for our Hogmanay knees up! 2023 has been a big year around here and we are excited to see what 2024 brings so we are going to ring it in with our friends, family and community!

We've booked one of Kat's favourite bands from Doune the Rabbit Hole, The Baby Sheiks, for some rockabilly music, Lucy will be on the fires dishing up food to keep us fuelled and there will be lots of bonfires to keep us warm!

It should be a lot of fun and we hope you can close out this incredible year with us!!